LE BOOGIE MAGAZINE ISSUE 8

CAN YOU FEEL ME INSIDE YOU?

Fifty thousand bodyboarders yawning makes a thundering sound. I hear it at three month intervals - the release of rival magazines. It begins when page one is thumbed, the initial intake of oxygen, then ascends in volume during the myriad of advertisements and fatiguing stories. The mouths are at their widest and most deafening nearing the back cover, the phase when the disappointment hits. 

Where is the sparkling charisma? Where is the materialism, the romance, the scandal?

It is concealed by a sensitive barrier, a hymen, built by your heroes to shield their attractive reality. And I am obliged to thrust at this hymen and penetrate it and find the juicy moments that lie behind.

Like 5pm, a Wednesday, kangaroos watching intently as I smoke cigarettes with Cade Sharp on a verandah contemplating the most effective methods of torture: which implements to use, where to make the incisions, when to increase the voltage and by how much, which tooth to remove first (thrust thrust thrust). The icing was the cemetery jaunt that ensued, when Cade posed gallantly before the backdrop of a hundred buried carcasses.

Or 8pm, a Saturday, the Rendevous Hotel, jaws crashing to the carpet when Scott Rigby starts doing backflips in a Hawaiian shirt after an impossible amount of drinks (outside in the hallway, a groupie faints). Scott and Tom (the famous one) spoke openly about traumatic childhood abuse and their first crushes. As the conversation flowed and the tape rolled and the hymen was eventually pierced, I couldn't decide if I wanted to laugh or cry.

Our latest gimmick, the le Boogie centerfold, stars Sam Strachan (16, Cronulla) and Holly Costello (20, Bronte). The soft-core shoot was inspired by Jean Paul Gaultier's spring campaign featuring Andrej Pejic, the eleventh hottest male model in the world. Fashion houses are going loco for the androgynous Bosnian. Androgyny is when masculine and feminine features combine in a most beautiful way. A model way. Androgyny is Sam. 

California's Anthony Savoji has a little something you'll be interested in, too. It's called Satanism and it isn't like other popular religions. It sort of makes sense! The easy-to-follow instructions are located near the photo of Jerry Houston holding a vicious diamond python.

The rest is all fake. I made it up. -Mike Mckiernan

 

Check out the clip for Issue 8, produced by the mysterious Stoke Machine: